Tough questions

 Normally when Olivia has clinic, she does what they ask and plays during the "in-betweens". She doesn't ask questions or even pay attention when the people come through. July's clinic was different. She was very attentive and inquisitive so after we got home Chris and I talked to Olivia about what everything meant. She seemed happy with what we told her and she didn't have any further questions. 

A week and a half ago, Olivia asked how she got CF. It caught me COMPLETELY off guard so I proceeded to draw a Punnett Square and explain dominant and recessive genes. The whooshing sound of my explanation going over her head was almost audible. A few days later, she asked me again and I explained it in more understandable terms.

Last night, while we were doing treatment, she asked me "Mommy, how long am I gonna have CF? I'm sick of having it." I asked Chris to come up so we could all talk about it as a family. She was crying because she's sick of treatment and taking pills. We discussed drugs in the pipeline and told her we just have to stay as healthy as possible until they get here. She was upset that the medicines aren't available for her yet and doesn't want to wait anymore. We told her if we could take CF from her and put it in us, we would in a second. We all cried together. It was a hard thing to talk about. 

Tonight, we sat down and read her Mallory's 65 Roses to help her understand. It helped and she told us on each page the ways that she and Mallory are alike. 

I knew the day would come that she would start asking questions, but it has come sooner than I expected.